3 ways to fix your life when youre mindlessly on autopilot

3 ways to fix your life when youre mindlessly on autopilot3 ways to fix your life when youre mindlessly on autopilotDo you ever feel like youre just going through the motions during the work week, and not making thoughtful decisions? You roll out of bed, get ready for work, mindlessly work on projects, head home for dinner, go to sleep and do the same thing in the same order the next day. The routine has taken out your energy and worn down your brain so that you feel mostly numb.Its a shockingly common feeling. British retailer fruchtmarks Spencer released theAutopilot Britain studylast month, showing that a staggering 96% of people surveyed say they operate on autopilot- thats reportedly an average of 15 decisions made while in that mindless frame of mind every day.People recognize that the choices they are making dont add up to the life they want to live. We can all do better at living mora purposefully. The opposite of autopilot is purposeful living, Dr. Mark Williamson, Directo r of Action for Happiness and a contributor to the study, said in a statement.Heres what the research found, and how we can turn this mode off in our daily lives.LivingonautopilotThe research team surveyed more than 3,000 peopleonline, ages 18-60 and up, in the UK. The study was commissioned as part ofSpendItWell, the retailers initiative designed to get Brits to make the most out of every moment.What stood out we spend most of our mornings, especially, in a mindless state.There are, for instance, decisions were much more likely to make on autopilot. Choosing an outfit, making weekend plans, what path to take to work and what to eat when lunch or dinner roll around are a few decisions respondents said they were most likely to make while on autopilot.While in this numb frame of mind, were letting things slip and agree to things without really thinking them through. Around 44% said that while on autopilot they have forgotten something, 20% fail to listen well to othersand 25% have agr eed to go to a social gathering they know they wont make it to. Around 76% said they recalled moments when they think the werent using time wisely, and 61% said they play it safe in terms of patterns and decisions.Around 47% of people surveyed reported agreeing to something four times each day while more inclined to say no. Almost half of this group said its due to a fear of letting others down. Some moments when people wanted to say no instead of yes were working greater hours or later hours and joining people for drinks after work when home was more appealing.The really chilling part Only 38% of people said they were living life to the full that day. In other words, were letting our lives pass us by.The paper identified specific pressures Brits face, saying that it is a distracted land because people are too busy to pay attention totheir decisions, tech makes us sleepwalk into our choices, and that an excessive amount of time is spent on comparison to impossiblestandards.Professor Renata Salecl, a contributor to the study, told Ladders about living in this state of mind.People are rarely fully in an auto-pilot mode. No matter what, we are conscious being capable of making decisions. However, we should not forget the power of social influences as well as our unconscious impulses which often undermind our conscious goals. Severe exhaustion, traumatic experience, depression and anxiety can make us go into what might look like auto-pilot mode where we landseem to be just following a certain course of life without having the perception that we can change it. Sadly, in todays society where people work longer and longer and feel very insecure in their work place and in life in general it often appears that that such auto-pilot behavior is on the rise. One should not look negatively at such auto-pilot behavior. It might very well be the case that people are trying to protect themselves by just going through the days without much thinking, Salecl said.Why are we on a utopilot? Managing fear ofdisappointmentAs we dig deeper, there appear to be two major reasons were on autopilot were preoccupied in our own thoughts and want the easiest path as we work them out and we are afraid of screwing up and say no without thinking about it.Williamson explained his theoryin a statement.pullquoteIf youre managing someone you believe is on autopilot, the best approach is compassion./pullquoteWe are always on. If you pause, you risk letting yourself or others down. When you stand still, its perceived that youre going backwards. As we look around us, it seems like other people are living successful, perfect lives. Autopilot makes it harder for us to make instinctively good choices so we feel trapped, and that were living someone elses life, Williamson said.If youre managing someone you believe is on autopilot, the best approach is compassion, research shows.Peter Bregmanwrites about how leaders should respond to employees when things dont go according to planin the Harvard Business Review.He recommends taking a moment to breathe, picking your desired result, not making people feel fear or punished, and to choose a response that will achieve the outcome you want.In hard times, people want to feel more connected to their leaders. They need to have reasons to trust you. They need to feel trusted by you, Bregman writes.The three reasons were on autopilotEven though everyone isnt the samewhen it comes to living life numbly, heres some of the advice the study offers to people in the three kinds of autopilot they identify.Pleasersliterally try to please others by saying yes, and end up resentful of their own responsibilities. They recommend saying no in a nice way more often, and displaying the phrase on a post-it note, and canceling events you dont need to go to as you look at your schedule on Sunday night.Pacers are always going, going, going- they focus more on getting things done and packing their schedules than being. The recommend setting an alarm to hit the sheets on time, and doing the most important thing you have to get done that day first, instead of something else, like emailing others back.Passengerslet others make decisions for them and get caught up in following the crowd too often. Theysay that each week, these people should do one thing differently among other advice.The study also details how people can escape autopilot mode. There are ways to make decisions more consciously.How to get away from autopilot and live your live more fullyHere are some of the ways the researchers recommend transitioning from autopilot mode to making decisionsmore purposefully.1. Focus on your own lifeThe researchers caution against trying to see how you stack up to others. Instead, you should dothings that boost your self-esteem.2. Include some joy in each dayYou should be more deliberate in your thinking by writing down what you value, and see whether your processes and tendencies have a positive effect on you, and that you s houldnt only save the special things in life for the big moments.3. Take positive action to change your state of mindPassivity makes us numb. To regain control over your life, the study says to change your mood through exercise, to do one thing towards a goal you want to accomplish and tell three people about it.To strengthen connections with others, the researchers advise saying hello more frequently, not using electronics while eating or talking with people, having a screen-free bedroom, and thanking others more often.To be more involved in your community, the researchers say to become a member of a club, to head outside more often, to go out of your way to interact with three more people than usual, to be of service, like volunteering.